Aside

Grapples of an over-thinker!

By the time December hits every year, I always take some time to review what the year had been. I always say that it helps to have a bird’s-eye view on the past 12 months and raise, what I believe, are all the mandatory questions pertaining to my growth i.e where was I last year? Have I progressed in any way? What am I still struggling with and how am I going to go forward into the new year?

As I read the round ups of 2014 and 2015, the only description I can come with is “THE GREAT MASSACRE” as I cut out toxic relationships, left work, made incredible career changes, threw out many insecurities and began a new chapter of actually liking who I have become, instead of dwelling on all my faults. Of course, there are certain insecurities from childhood that still exist, yet for the most part, I am happy with my progress.

It is quite late to do another round-up now, however I could not write one earlier, as between November last year and now, I was not in a good space at all, uninspired and exhausted, fact is, I am only really feeling like myself again today, after a rather long time.

Thankfully, after 2 silence courses, lots of meditation, good friends and a splash of wine, my mind has finally cleared this week and I know what it was, that was bugging me all along… Unfortunately I had channeled all that frustration on the wrong person, but I have hopefully done enough, in efforts to earn some forgiveness 😉

I love posting positivity on the internet, things that inspire me, and perhaps make someone else feel good on a bad day, I therefore only write once I have figured out what my lesson is or once I have overcome whatever it is that was bugging me.

Last night I had dinner with my best friend, as we spoke about life and where we are at now, everything just fell into place in my head. We don’t realise how therapeutic it is, to spend some time with a person who knows you better than you know yourself, a person whose energy content is more positive than negative and most importantly a person who will make the time to listen, advise and even smack some sense into you… Not literally of course!

After that conversation and from everything that I have been through in my life, if you know my story, you know it has been a really tough ride, in comparison to my peers, I can say that…

In life, it is absolutely imperative, to count your blessings over what you lack, be it materialistic, spiritual, emotional or anything else, because once you dive into a cycle of lack, for some reason, we as humans, have an ability to throw ourselves into such a dull space, just by over thinking, creating horrible scenarios in our minds and focussing on all the irrelevant aspects of our existence.

Life can be really beautiful, yet we can completely ruin it within seconds, just because we cannot…or refuse to control where we allow our minds to wonder off to. This is also the result of having too much time on our hands!

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Plan for 2017: Stay focussed, get busy again, spend time with positive people, eat yummy food, go to pretty places, keep working hard and most importantly count my blessings, because, even through the tough times, in all 31 years, I have always been taken care of 🙂

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