The end of 2014 brings about a sense of relief for me, it has been a rough year, but as expected, I have grown, I have learnt and I have succeeded in building a foundation on which I will construct the life that I’d like to live going forward.
The entire year had been about bulldozing old constructions to make room for new ones. In those 12 months, I had stripped down naked in all aspects of life, just emptying the closet. I cut ties with so many people, I distanced myself from friendships, untangled knots within me and just threw out emotional bottled up garbage.
Once all was removed, I felt light and empty at the same time. The former, because some of the things I got rid of was in fact bad for me, and the latter, because some of what I stripped myself of, was actually worth keeping.
So I spent the last month of the year, clothing myself with only what I thought best for me, things that feed my soul, people who are genuine and the most important thing, family. Family isn’t an accessory that you can rip off and throw away, it is your DNA, the source of who you are, and if you try and rip that off, you are nothing.
I can easily say I had been selfish all year, I had put myself first in everything that I had done, I have many friends who were mad at me for this, but I believe it had to be done, and in doing this I developed an understanding of the direction I’d like to take going forward, I have developed a certain independence, I have learnt how to say “No” to things I don’t believe in, I understand that certain things are worth fighting for, and other things should just be left alone.
The most important lesson I have learnt in all this, is that, you can have many friends, who will always be there for you, they will give you the best advise based on what they think is good for you, they have good intentions, but at the end of the day, you spend 100% of time with yourself, only you know what makes you tick and only you know what makes you feel good, bad, sad, angry etc, so the only person that can make decisions for you is you. Making decisions based on third party influences could change your life, but it could change it in a negative way, and only you, will have to live with it, not the people who helped you make that choice.
2014 was an eye opener, a year of healing and transition. 2015 will be a time where I experience the effect of those changes and decisions, whether the result is great or not, is yet to be seen.
“So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.”