Refreshed, revamped and rejuvenated!!

butterflies-free_257521

The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly.

Richard Bach

I have recently stumbled upon the term “mummy issues’ or “daddy issues” from my understanding, this is caused as a result of a person who has grown up in situations, where one or both of the parents are either absent in a child’s upbringing, where one or both of them are alcoholics/addicted to some sort of substance, or maybe even abusive.

I have never thought that mummy or daddy issues has the capacity to determine the future of ones relationships, but after meeting so many people in the last few years, after editing so many interviews, and of course from my own experience, I have realised that growing up in a home where there is no balance, can sometimes be destructive in a child’s future relationships.

I thought I had turned out quite ok, until recently, when I had embarked on a journey of finding out who I really am. I took a step back and looked at all my relationships, trying to figure out what went wrong, what am I doing wrong. I have put my entire life on a timeline trying to see the bigger picture from a birds eye view and here it is…

Firstly I have to be comfortable with the fact that I have had daddy issues, secondly and what is scary, is that I have always been in a relationship ever since I was 14, which to me shows that I have always needed to have a male figure in my life, my take is, that I thought I needed this as I had a void to fill, I always felt something missing in my life if I am not with someone, I felt that having a boyfriend was what makes me happy. I sit here at age 28, for the first time in my life I have been single for such a long time (2 years), it has been the most difficult time of my life, but I feel like I finally understand what my past was, why I did certain things and with this clear perspective, I have closure on my past.

For the first time I am able to sit back and think, What do I really want? For the first time in my life, I am able to say, I am not going to jump into the first relationship that comes my way because I am comfortable enough to be on my own, and with that, I believe a that I can just fly now, I feel more focussed then I have ever felt in my entire life, I feel fresh and I feel like a newly born butterfly who was incubated in a cocoon for way to long and it is now time to fly.

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