2018 – New Cycle, New Strength, New Lessons…

I went into the new year in a great space, my mind clear, in total control of  my life, confident again, loving who I am, fitness levels up and ready to smash 2018… But ALAS… life shall throw you off as soon as you hit a level of comfort.

A new lesson has presented itself recently, and now it isn’t all about “ME” anymore, if you have read any of my previous blog posts, you’d notice that it encapsulates a pile of lessons under a chapter that most can relate to i.e FINDING MYSELF; getting to know who I am and loving that person, solo travels, losing weight (still trying), the big process of eliminating toxic people, the lesson of PATIENCE and at the last one was, dropping ego and loving people, regardless of whether that was reciprocated. A wonderful journey it has been, new friendships were born and old ones still cherished…

This year however, with all the strength that I have built, with all the confidence I have attained and with all the awareness that I have learnt through spirituality, a new phase has snuck in.

I touched down into Johannesburg from a Cape Town vacation, only to find a long line of strong, opinionated, asshole type of humans which life has tactfully arranged to throw at me. I now find myself, on a daily basis, hiding, running and ducking out of situations, leaving me annoyed and exhausted at the end of most days.

As I embark on a new chapter of finally getting my production company off the ground, I understand, that life is strengthening me, by placing me in scenarios, where, if I walk away, I miss an opportunity, however if I am a little more stubborn, determined, yet still humble, I tend to come out a winner.

Judging from my life pattern, I cannot run away from this lesson, because if I do, these type of humans are going to pop up at every corner until I build up the sufficient amount of confidence, bring out that big girl voice, and communicate where I stand and what I want… In other words, fight off assholes by becoming one too!



  • If you find yourself in the same cycle over and over again, it is because the lesson you are meant to learn hasn’t been learnt as yet, if you want to change the cycle,you have to change your approach to certain things, learn the lesson so you can either progress or move on without having wasted too much time in the same cycle.
  • When you get too comfortable and life starts pushing you, don’t fight it, ride the wave and discover what is on the other side of the ocean, it’s happening for a reason.
  • It is important to be open and honest about what you want in life, be it, friendship, at work and especially in business, because if you do not communicate, you will never get results… Whether the outcome of this is positive or negative, is a whole other ball game, but honesty to oneself and to the people close to you is an imperative trait in aiding you to make better decisions.
  • Step out of a situation and ask yourself: Is this worth fighting for. Choose your battles wisely, no need to fight for every single thing, sometimes, after you give a 100% with no positive result, it’s ok to walk away with peace of mind knowing that, from your side, you did your best.

❤️My 2 pennies worth on Love ❤️

I had edited something recently where this piece of advise was given…

“Fall in love as many times as possible”

Then today this knowledge popped up…

This makes love sound a little less scary for me, it got me thinking;

It’s just a 4 letter word, yet it carries so much weight. It can make or break a person, it holds this power that can transform a completely sane human being into an irrational lubber-head, it can bring happiness, yet turn your entire world upside down, unaffected by time, it happens either within a second or over many many years.

Some who feel it, are sort of hypnotized into doing things they wouldn’t ordinarily do, thinking in ways they have never thought, looking at the world with a new pair of eyes, and in doing this, they could either be becoming the best version of themselves or lose themselves as they dive into this unknown ocean.

Can we really trust this ocean? How deep is it? Are the waves calm? When the tide is high and it throws you out, is it worth jumping back in? It is an emotion many don’t trust, and those who have been punished by it, are too scared to dive back into this chaos.

So; based on my own experiences…

I try best to see the lesson in every obstacle and epic moment that presents itself. As I re read my previous blog posts I can see growth, I see the stepping stones and life lessons, the newest on my lesson list is detachment, which seems to be flowing into a chapter of embracing the joy of love instead of focusing on how much it once broke me.

This brings about 3 new realizations; and I speak not only of romantic relationships, this includes family, friends, your passion in life etc…

1. Love and detachment MUST coexist

If you love something or someone, try best not to allow it to take over your entire life. Balance the thing/person you love with other things, like a hobby, new friends, family etc, so that there is a variety in your life, where you aren’t always obsessing or attached to one person or thing, in this way relationships don’t become boring and monotonous and you don’t find a need to attach yourself to a human, a thing or an activity…

Do not misinterpret the above:

Commitment and attachment are totally different, you can commit without being attached.

2. Love WORKS with acceptance and CANNOT WORK with expectation

This is difficult. Everyone defines love differently, if love for one is saying “I love you” and love for another is rather expressing it through action, we should learn to accept this and not EXPECT the next person to change their ways to to live up to what we define Love to be… easier said then done.

Also, learn to love without expecting the feeling to be reciprocated, we block out a lot of people because our ego won’t allow us to be ok with the fact that feelings aren’t mutual. Not everyone can love everyone and it’s a great emotional achievement to be able to love unconditionally, to be free enough to express it and not expect anything in return.

3. Trust, Relax and have faith

Be free, don’t overthink, listen to your heart, if it feels right, it can’t be wrong, if it was sent to you, there’s a lesson or a blessing in it. Be open to the experience but be strong enough to handle the outcome… I include faith in this because, from what I have learnt over the years, that in all religious/spiritual practise, love seems to be the common thread binds us all.


Shackles of our EGO and my understanding of Love ❤️ 

You know, the biggest disease in today’s world is “What will people think.”

“Don’t be a football of other people’s opinions. Don’t worry about what others think about you. In fact, nobody has time to think about you” ~ Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

I have been misguided by my own thoughts, I have always blamed society for moulding me to care about what everyone thinks of me, of my actions, my weight, my intelligence…. My entire life!

Truth is, as I have transitioned from how I was raised into adulthood, I have come to realize and accept that, it is nothing other than my own ego that has stopped me from doing whatever makes me happy because of “Who is watching.”

Life is way to short to follow the masses…We may not open our eyes tomorrow, so…

When you hear the music, and deep within your core, all you want to do is dance; get out there and do it… NO MATTER WHO IS WATCHING!

When your heart is heavy, and your spirit needs to reset; cry with all your given strength until your eyes are dry… NO MATTER WHO IS WATCHING!

If something doesn’t sit right in your soul; make an effort to correct it… NO MATTER WHO IS WATCHING!

Don’t be afraid to shower Love onto anyone that you connect with… NO MATTER WHO IS WATCHING!

Love is a scary thing, it is a rose, delicate, yet the thorns can cause your soul to bleed.

We box it into dofferent levels of love; the love for our family, love for our children, for our partners, but I have recently learnt that love is not meant to be boxed. It is a common emotion that we all feel, a universal language and something that is not meant to be controlled, yet we are so caught up with our own ego, our mind and an “intelligence” which forces us to control it. It is unnatural to control this, it’s not meant to be controlled.

Love has no status or boundary, you can love the one who begs at the corner of the street, you can fall in love with a person just from a quick glance in their eyes, you can love your best friend of the opposite sex, with a pure love and no feeling of lust, love for God, love for nature for animals… the list is endless!

As I said “IT IS THE UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE” If we would just drop the brick wall that we’ve built in front of us and open ourselves up to the pain and joy of it, we would experience the true power of it all!

Take care of you, do what makes you happy,  you do not always need to do what others expect of you, because at the end Of the day, when you lay to rest, you are left alone with your mind, not the minds of those who we think are watching us, just you and your mind, and as an adult, we have a say in how peaceful that mind is at the end of everyday. ❤️


31 Years at “The University of Life”

People sometimes think I am crazy, when I speak of having a strong faith, or how spirituality trumps religion any day, but if you walk a day in my shoes, you’ll be amazed at how a little prayer here and there, an unbreakable faith and good intentions makes life just fall into place so beautifully…

A few lessons I have learnt (the hard way)

  • Your life is like a film, everyone is watching, there are people who will love it, people who will hate it, and those who watch with a critical eye, waiting for you to do something wrong, so that they can give your film a bad rating… So live it, no matter who is watching!
  • Be good and humble with all those around you, regardless of whether they reciprocate that.
  • Never allow exterior situations destroy your inner peace.
  • The People you surround yourself with play a critical role in your state of mind, keep those, who impact your life positively close by and walk away from those who bring your energy down. Don’t be afraid to drop friends and leave situations that don’t add value to your life. 
  • Learn to love being by yourself, if you are content in your own space, you are indestructible anywhere else.
  • Drop your ego; Apologise when you need to, whether you are forgiven or not does not matter, you do your part, the rest is up to the other person and their mindset
  • It is tough to always do the right thing in life, sometimes we don’t know what is right, but in all your actions, never put someone else through something that you wouldn’t want to go through… Karma is a scary thing, it shall come back ten times worse… don’t risk it.
  • Time is valuable, never waste it, work hard, but balance with some rest
  • L❤️VE unconditionally!

And most important...

  • Be grateful for all that you have been blessed with, and use your blessings to help others who aren’t as fortunate as you may be…

So that, my friends, have been my lessons after 31 years of trying to figure out this life thing!

Who knows how much more I need to learn before I complete this life cycle! 💝 


What would Hassie masa have done?

Memories on Facebook today took me to this…

Exactly 8 days after my mum called and said “Deepa is outside and daddy won’t open the door”

There’s this thing that happens when you lose a parent, you just know it’s happened before they give you “The News”, a part of you becomes hollow, it’s a feeling in your heart where you can physically feel a part of who you are is gone, and it’s true, the three of us are completely different people since that day.

I Don’t remember much else about that time, but 7 years later, we are happy, the empty is still empty yet the memory runs so strong….

What would daddy have said if he saw this?

Do you remember when Hassie Masa played this song every single day as he drove us to tuition?

He would have been so angry if he saw this…

… every single days goes by this way, we live vicariously through our memory and through the stories everyone tells as they remember him.

So how will it ever be normal again?

It never will, but we lived through the storm and learnt to dance in the rain 🙂

A tribute to a man who taught me how to pour a beer with perfection, who worked hard at making it right again when it was all wrong, and who, even after leaving us, still teaches me my lessons through the little things he’s left behind and the memories that makes us happy, sad and laugh a lot.

Love him always ❤️


Grapples of an over-thinker!

By the time December hits every year, I always take some time to review what the year had been. I always say that it helps to have a bird’s-eye view on the past 12 months and raise, what I believe, are all the mandatory questions pertaining to my growth i.e where was I last year? Have I progressed in any way? What am I still struggling with and how am I going to go forward into the new year?

As I read the round ups of 2014 and 2015, the only description I can come with is “THE GREAT MASSACRE” as I cut out toxic relationships, left work, made incredible career changes, threw out many insecurities and began a new chapter of actually liking who I have become, instead of dwelling on all my faults. Of course, there are certain insecurities from childhood that still exist, yet for the most part, I am happy with my progress.

It is quite late to do another round-up now, however I could not write one earlier, as between November last year and now, I was not in a good space at all, uninspired and exhausted, fact is, I am only really feeling like myself again today, after a rather long time.

Thankfully, after 2 silence courses, lots of meditation, good friends and a splash of wine, my mind has finally cleared this week and I know what it was, that was bugging me all along… Unfortunately I had channeled all that frustration on the wrong person, but I have hopefully done enough, in efforts to earn some forgiveness 😉

I love posting positivity on the internet, things that inspire me, and perhaps make someone else feel good on a bad day, I therefore only write once I have figured out what my lesson is or once I have overcome whatever it is that was bugging me.

Last night I had dinner with my best friend, as we spoke about life and where we are at now, everything just fell into place in my head. We don’t realise how therapeutic it is, to spend some time with a person who knows you better than you know yourself, a person whose energy content is more positive than negative and most importantly a person who will make the time to listen, advise and even smack some sense into you… Not literally of course!

After that conversation and from everything that I have been through in my life, if you know my story, you know it has been a really tough ride, in comparison to my peers, I can say that…

In life, it is absolutely imperative, to count your blessings over what you lack, be it materialistic, spiritual, emotional or anything else, because once you dive into a cycle of lack, for some reason, we as humans, have an ability to throw ourselves into such a dull space, just by over thinking, creating horrible scenarios in our minds and focussing on all the irrelevant aspects of our existence.

Life can be really beautiful, yet we can completely ruin it within seconds, just because we cannot…or refuse to control where we allow our minds to wonder off to. This is also the result of having too much time on our hands!


Plan for 2017: Stay focussed, get busy again, spend time with positive people, eat yummy food, go to pretty places, keep working hard and most importantly count my blessings, because, even through the tough times, in all 31 years, I have always been taken care of 🙂

Sometimes we just need a little affirmation…

2 days in Frankfurt 🙂

There’s an awareness that I develop as I embark on an independent travel venture. I am more alert, a tad sensitive to my new surroundings and since I have, once again, pushed myself out of my comfort zone, I somewhat adopt a more serious stance…

The beauty of this is that I am totally cognizant of all the little details of life which we overlook on a daily basis, I hear every single sound as I walk through the streets, I can feel the freedom of a bird as I watch it glide through the air, I have a better appreciation of the sun kissed water as it flashes out a gold sparkle and ofcourse my favorite of all… the characters I encounter as I move along.

This is only the second time that I have shifted seasons all by myself and both times I stand at the airport, bags in hand, waiting for a train or taxi and asking myself the same question… “What on earth were you thinking, doing this by yourself?”

I often can see the judgement in the eyes of people who listen to my next venture in life, those who have never and probably will never understand how refreshing it is to do something new and perhaps by yourself too. It’s not that I lack friends, it’s not that I don’t have a family who’ll come with me, it could be that sometimes friends and family get a bit too much for me, but it’s definitely a soulful experience, accompanied by an inexplicable freedom and zest for life.

So here’s me and my huge heavy hard case about to take 3 different trains to get to where I needed to go, still a little cranky from a 10 hour long flight, next to a woman who took her seat as well as half of mine, leaving me with Zero nap time on the plane as my psychology shall not accept the fact that her shoulder is always brushing up against mine… mind you, if it was a he and a hot he, I might not have minded… but it was a she, a she with a big shoulder that needed it’s own seat and a thick blanket over that shoulder which took up more space… I pride myself on being that short girl on the plane with no leg room  problems, able to pull off a perfect cross legged seated position and sleep ever so comfortably, little did I know that a shoulder could be a problem or that a shoulder needed it’s own seat…

3 trains followed by a short drive and a few friends made along the way, I finally found myself in the place that is now home for the next few days. As we drove through a little town and up a windy route making our way up a mountain, surrounded by pure white frosted grass, I could feel an energy shift already, I couldn’t wait to get out and feel what it is that’s outside that car window.

Luggage put away, a quick lunch and ofcourse a new friend is all I needed to fuel up a hike out in the freezing cold forest. We walked through a path which we eventually left behind as we drifted off and climbed higher and higher, then winded down in a new direction,  2 hours later found ourselves completely lost in between the greens, feeling the quiet that it was, finding a little bit of sun in between the icy cold, allowing it to warm our noses, and in absolute  appreciation of the fact that, in life, some of us are lucky enough to not be too caught up in what some call reality, and to be able to make a decision to step away from life as we know it, in order to experience something new…

Ever since that, every experience I’ve had, every conversation that’s added value to my life and every new person I’ve met has made me realise that the decision to come here by myself was a correct one.