Inspiration hasn’t kicked in to write for some time now, and by that I mean… Life has been great, I have been working, dating, spending time with friends, reading, lost 1 kg *YAY* and in the process of that, still trying to maintain who I am, while having a partner/boyfriend/person. I don’t know what to call this, I am 32 going on 33, I feel a tad old using the word “Boyfriend”, the lesbian and gay folk have unofficially, copy-written the word “Partner” so we are now using the term “My Person”
So having a “Person” in your 30’s…. RIGHT!
- If I say that dating in your 30’s is the same butterflies and tickles as it was in high school or your first love, anyone who has gone through this, would tell you that I am talking smack… It ain’t easy, dare I say… WE ARE OLD PEOPLE DATING NOW, we are sitting on the couch, pulling each others grey hair out, I kid you not, this is a part of our reality, mind you, we have been single for a long time before, so we can party together like homies too!
- What also comes with this package is, we are set in our ways now, and when 2 people who have been single for a long time, come together and try to be each others “PERSON”, let me tell you, it IS a walk in the park… a crazy, rough, exciting, yet terrifying theme park. You don’t know what to expect as you move through the rides one step at a time, there are times where you are shitting yourself and want to get out, there are those familiar roller coasters that present itself, which you know you won’t step on again, and then some new and improved ones, where you have the most epic adventure and never want it to end, there is never an in-between, it’s either absoluckenfruitly amazing, or it is a rollercoaster that will make you feel like throwing up at the end of the day.
So as women, once we hit 30 and are still single, we have somehow all “found ourselves” We preach a few things as we go on dates in search of “The One” unsure if he actually exists…
- We do not take nonsense from a man.
- We know who we are.
- We know what we want.
- Most importantly we are 100% aware of what we DO NOT want.
If you have not reached this point as yet in your 30’s… Ladies you need to do some soul-searching and figure that s*!t out!
Back to Business, if we have been single for a while, we have built this independent image for ourselves, like “OMAAAGAAAAAD, I have travelled, I have my own place, I am doing what I love, found spirituality, blah blah blah.” We become confident, cocky, cows and it’s not entirely our fault; we can blame what life has put us through, to have become all those C words as we don’t want to be broken again right?
However….this confident, independent women that we have made ourselves up to be, results in us being single for a little longer. We become intimidating to men, no man wants a woman who is hard work and full of nonsense, we have to be at least a tiny bit malleable when it comes to dating… Now don’t go lose yourself after all that hard work you have put into building that person, just don’t be an asshole, because… I have come to realise that, men who have been single for that long, also have a line which they won’t allow us to cross, they will not stand for certain things that we throw at them, it is the same concept, of knowing who they are in their 30’s, as they too, have had their fair share of crap dealt to them.
I have also come to understand, that being single, is in fact a comfort zone, those girls nights, the solo travels, the house parties, the first dates, the freedom to flirt, disappearing into work for days because there are no other commitments; those times were all great, yet it is a comfort zone.
We keep busy, doing a lot of things, to put ourselves out there to meet people, yet we stay in the single-life comfort zone, as it is a shield that protects us; it is easier to be single than to allow yourself to be vulnerable and open to an individual who could break you once again within a matter of seconds…. Ahem, guys do this too!
Now, stepping out of that zone, is a huge risk to take in life, you open yourself up to a whole lot of new love and intense pain at the same time. In my 30’s, with the lessons that life has already dealt me, I can assure you, nothing really lasts forever, so when you do step out of the single-life comfort zone, and enter into a new chapter, make sure that you have picked a particular person, who is worth the love and pain combo!
It is that simple!